If you have been keeping up with my blogs this summer, you will be aware that I have been riding a rising wave of consciousness. A chance I took at the beginning of July, created a burst of growth and flowering for me this year. …Hallelujah! I have been riding this wave, discovering more joy in dance, movement, and art, more courage to overcome my fears and start to build a community in which I hope to plant seeds for love and growth, and more belief in general in myself.
So, as I sit at the
top of the wave, I take my Nia terminology and I wonder, How do I increase and sustain this growth, joy and expansion? Well, as I was doing some wandering in my
mind the other day, an answer came to me.
It went like this…
For some reason, I was
pondering some of my past boyfriends.
Many of them were really not worth my time, but because of a lack of
belief in myself, I thought that if only they would believe in me, then maybe I
would be worthy of love….I know, how sadly misguided.
In any case, one
boyfriend in particular came to mind that I thought would have actually really
been worth my time. Alas, he dumped
me. And as I sat there wondering why,
the thought came to me that I have been rejected many times in my life by
others – told that I was not good
enough, not like them enough, not worthy of their friendship, love or whatever. Perhaps I am not alone in this
experience. No matter! I thought, at
least I refuse to reject myself anymore, and gave myself a mental hug. That felt great!
Of course, that is easy to say, I reminded myself. So how to go about doing it? I thought and came up with this…whenever
something uncomfortable comes up, I resolve to check in with myself and ask a
simple question. Am I being loving to
myself in this situation? If the answer
is no, then I have to do some work and find a way to still or come to terms
with the inner critic.
That resolution made,
I thought just a bit further about my inner critic. It is interesting how we
take all the criticisms leveled at us over the years and internalize them so
that those people don’t even have to be present anymore in order for us to feel
shame. We become quite capable of
shaming ourselves. So sad really. But this is where I step off of the bus. Sorry guys.
I am just not giving you that power anymore….tthtttthhhhhpppppptttttt!
I am so glad you could
join me once more on my journey! If it
can plant a seed in your own life, please, please, allow it to germinate, seek
the light, and grow. You too are worthy
of love and joy, no matter what your inner critic says! Please join me now in this resolution.
Love, light and joy be
yours.
Namaste!
